July 14, 2017

July 14, 2017


Focus Verse: Drink water from your own cistern
And fresh water from your own well.
Should your springs be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
Let them be yours alone
And not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love.
For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress
And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?
Proverbs 5:15-20


Proverbs teaches to avoid a number of different sins and character flaws and adultery is one of them that it teaches the most frequently on avoiding. Now let’s be honest, Solomon was probably a pretty good person to be writing on this topic since he had roughly 1,000 wives and concubines. Now before you write me off as a lunatic, let’s think for a second on this. Who is a better expert on someone struggling with drug addiction, someone who has read a lot of books on drug addiction or someone who has struggled with and overcome a drug addiction?


Solomon knew what a disaster the whole multiple marriage thing was. If it wasn’t a disaster, why would he be telling his son to be content with the wife (of the singular variety) of his youth. Clearly Solomon had gotten down the road in years with these thousand wives and concubines and regretted 999 of those decisions.


So what is Solomon’s expert advice to his son on how to avoid adultery? Don’t look for it!


I’m going to dive into some birds and bees stuff here, so parents, hide your children and put on your PG-13 hats.


If you keep the home fires burning, you don’t have to warm yourself by the fire of someone else’s home. If you’re eating good at your dinner table, then you don’t have to wish you were eating at someone else’s dinner table. If you are having outstanding sex in your marriage bed, then you won’t be looking for it in someone else’s bed.


The key to this is practice and communication. Sex is such a taboo conversation topic, but it’s one that has to happen between a husband and a wife. If my wife makes something for dinner that I don’t like, I tell her that I don’t like it so that I don’t have to keep eating it. I learned this the hard way. I loathe French toast. Cannot stand it. But I never communicated this to my wife. Guess what we had for dinner for nearly three years of our marriage? I finally got up the gumption to tell her that French toast just really doesn’t do anything for me, and guess what we don’t eat nearly as frequently?


So why don’t we do the same thing with sex? If there’s something you really like, tell your husband or wife! If there’s some “French toast” in your sex life, talks about it! Maybe your husband or wife really likes the “French toast”, so you’ll still have it on occasion. But because you love each other, it won’t be the only thing.


Be happy with your husband, be happy with your wife, and you won’t have to look to someone else’s. If you aren’t happy, TALK ABOUT IT! Problems don’t go away by ignoring them and hoping they’ll get better. They go away by talking about them and making them better. The best way to get steer clear of adultery is to make sure it’s not an option in the first place. Marriage is hard. You will never get your marriage so “strong” that you won’t walk through hard times. But those times will be easier to bear if you have a solid, Christ-centered base to fall back on. And really a really great sex-life definitely doesn’t hurt anything.

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